Tuesday, November 19, 2013


Today I found out that I will be having surgery next week. I have to say that I am scared. I know that as a Christian I shouldn't be scared, but I am. This will be my third surgery in two years. I know what to expect, mostly. This one is expected to be the worst recovery yet. I won't be allowed to lift my son weeks. I can't take care of him. I will be on bed rest.

I don't do well asking for help. And I have to beg for it right now. I have to get help taking care of my child, feeding my family, caring for my home and even walking to the bathroom. It feels humiliating. I know it shouldn't be. But it does. A dear friend in the church talked to me about asking for help with this. She said that as the Body of Christ its our job to care for others, and its about to be my turn. I  struggle with that. I'm the one at church always volunteering to jump in wherever. But asking for help for me, I don't do well with that.

I am not sure what God is going to teach me through all this. Being willing to let go since people won't take care of things the way I would is definitely a big one. Putting my faith in His plan and timing (something I seem to need to relearn frequently) with the surgery is one I need to work on, especially with not being afraid. And one I am struggling with greatly is working on being humble enough to admit that I need help.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Some Funnies

I know that I have been posting so many deep thoughts in my head, but this post won't be. This week has been rough so right now I am curled up with some coffee and need some funny stuff. So grab your cup of coffe (or whatever you drink) and laugh with me.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Learning from my Son

Welcome to the weekend. Well, almost. Today I was supposed to find a devotion for a Facebook page I admin and I found this one. Childlike But Not Childish by Parenting by Design. It spoke to me because right now Seth is in a phase where he is discovering his independance and pushing his boundaries. Its wearing. I just want him to understand that when I say no its not to hurt his feelings or ruin his fun, its to protect him. Its because I know more than he does and can see a bigger picture. But he has no idea.

I do that with God. I feel that I know what is best, and yet I don't. I question God so much because I see what I see. I wish I could say that I have it all down pat. I want to say that I always totally trust God's plan and have this awesome strong faith. But guess what, I don't!!!

I don't have strong faith, but I do have a God that knows so much better than I do. And I do have an example in trusting in God in how my son trust me. When I give him to someone to hold he trusts that the person mommy gives him to will love him. He trust that the food I give him is ok. In fact, he has no idea that something he eats could be dangerous (a fact he likes to prove over and over). Can I trust my Heavenly Father that much? Can I trust that everything He gives me or doesn't give me is what is right for me? Can I fully trust Him?

Monday, November 4, 2013

Our Mini Weekend Trip to Disney

This weekend we went on a mini vacation with my biological dad and his family He has 2 kids with my stepmom, an awesome 14 year old little bro (that towers way above me) and my sweet 12 year old baby sister. We go to Disney World with them every year around the end of October (some day I will post my Disney world tips). I was super excited this year because we were taking Seth. He went last year but had NO clue what was going on.

In case you don't know, my little guy is totally obsessed with Mickey Mouse. He gets a huge smile and starts
giggling when Mickey Mouse Clubhouse comes on. He had a Mickey birthday party. He sleeps with a stuffed blue Mickey. He loves anything Mickey. So yes, I was super excited to take him to see Mickey. 

We were supposed to go to Disney Saturday and then hang out at the timeshare place with my Dad Sunday, but God had other plans. It rained and was cold (ok Florida cold, but we consider it cold). So we just hung out. Seth played with his Papa. We watched football. In case you don't know, we are a huge college football family. Isaiah (and his whole family) live and breath University of Florida. I am an Auburn fan (though no where near the caliber of my husband and in laws). My baby brother is a HUGE Miami fan. So we had football on most of the day. We relaxed, played ps3 and just had fun. Seth decided to show his uncle what its like to have a baby sneak up and steal food right off your plate. Oh well, its good for him. They are both great with Seth. I love watching them play with him. He adores his aunt and uncle!

Sunday was the big day. We got to go to Disney!! It also happened to be time change day. All those that have had little children let out a collective groan with me. Yes, we were up early. Seth was all off. He wanted supper at about 4:30. Oh well.

The first thing we did was go on a ferry to get there. Seth thought it was so neat. He enjoyed looking out the side of the ferry. His hair is getting so long (he really needs a haircut) that is blowing in the wind. Yes, I laugh at my child sometimes. Then we got into Magic Kingdom and found Mickey right away. It was great

Seth seeing Mickey was the thing about this trip that I was most excited about because I knew he would be excited. At first he saw Mickey and then wasn't sure what to think. He just stared while Mickey was with another family. Then we got up there and Seth got super excited. He just wanted to touch Mickey and kept smiling. We had trouble getting a picture of him looking forward because he wanted to see Mickey. It was everything I hoped it would be.

We went on some rides. There was one ride that I really wanted to take Seth on. I loved Its a Small World as a child and I was excited to take Seth on. He had such a big day that he fell asleep in Isaiah's arms on the line to get on and woke up once we got off. Oh well.

We had a good day. Seth had a good time. He had enough around 5. We went back and packed and came home. It was a fun, very tiring weekend. Seth and I just want to sleep today.